and now, our regularly scheduled bullshit

-what was your favorite 'holiday' present? (because you're not allowed to be specific [fuck a specific]). i think we all know what mine was. in a way. not really a present. just a current state of affairs perhaps. the indiana jones trilogy isn't that bad...

-so rather than coming home and dealing with my parents about regular bullshit, but also missing the opportunity to talk to you, which i regret... i decided to hang out with tristan today because nobody else was doing anything. it was memorable i suppose. we talked philosophically about maybe everything. or nothing. it's all the same. anyways. i could sit and type about how existence is just existence. the universe, math, physics, creation, they're all generalizations on something that just is. something that just isn't at the same time. there is no generalization for it. yet, at the heart of all this existence, the matter and energy, the universe, is the generalization of sub-atomic physics, where the other laws of math and science fail to explain, they fail to generalize. they simply acknowledge the existence of something that just is. because without their generalizations, they can't predict what it will do, or what it will be. and in explaining all of this over hours of discussion with tristan, i came upon a paradox that i tried to analyze, in light of my expose on existence, what does that make me? and what does it make you? to me, which just feeds on the perception that my human brain interprets, or generalizes, it makes me the random occurrence of the chaotic inexplicable existence of sub-atomic energy, generalized into a limited intelligent animal who creates emotions and bases decisions off a barrage of physical and mental stimuli only because i'm intelligent enough to do so. and when i'm under barrage of any sort of you-based stimuli, my limited intelligence is completely and utterly unaware of ridiculous rantings on philosophical quantum physics and it's relation to existence. it's just you.

-love you.

-p.s. i'll probably write a long "what the fuck i've done in my daily life since the last time i wrote here" blog later... i'm not really in the mood right now and those don't always appeal to me. i just like typing what i feel...